Christian

Personal | Profession | Passion

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Personal   | Profession |   Passion

 

~ It’s Personal

I have been in love only 2 times in my life. Once while in college and the second time in my mid 30’s. The second time around was the closes that I had ever been to walking the aisle but what sticks out more to me was the “labor of love” that I poured into trying to understand myself and the man that I felt was my forever. During the hardest times of accepting what I knew to be true from the beginning, I learned the most!

The Pain Of My Fallacy:

  • ……removed the need to ‘gamble’ with my expectation vs. his reality
  • ……corrected a perception that I had about the term ‘potential’ mate. When I looked at the word and thought about what potential is, I discovered that I always focused more on what potential could become verses the fact that ‘potential’ is a energy about a person that is stored or dormant and it shows the capacity of something that is to become or develop into something in the future…if it has not moved out of its current state, what you see, is what it is. Nothing more…nothing less.
  • ……taught me that you can’t revise God’s plan for your life. His timing, His strategy and purpose for divine connections with people cannot be forced or created by you. When we spend more time trying to make something work out of His will, because He is not the author of confusion (1 Corinthians 14:33), we are forfeiting our trust in the plan and purpose our creator has ordained for our lives before the foundations of the earth.

~ My Profession

If I could draw a chart to illustrate my career over a 16 year period it would look something like this::

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Blue Block = the first 5 years of working

Green Block = working 6 to 10 years

Orange Block = working 11 to 15 years

Red Block = working 15 to 20 years

I bet some of you are wondering why are the blocks going down verses going up?

Glad you asked!!!

This graph has been illustrated to friends when I discuss my current state of working…how I feel like my climb up into my profession has ‘felt’ like it has been a steady ‘decline’. The progression of knowledge that I have obtained was not being illustrated in the “natural sense” and it gave me a feeling of confusion, frustration and resentment…..until I begin to look at it differently and allow God to ‘show’ me what was happening in the spirit realm so that I can trust Him while I walk out two very contradicting realities…

The Pain Of My Fallacy:

  • …..deepened my dependency on my faith in GOD. If I know Him as a God who makes no mistakes, then WHY am I questioning this ‘season’ of my life? He has allowed this to happen because what He is teaching me is equipping me for the multiple ways He will be using me.
  • …..matured me. Responsibility is your ‘ability to RESPOND’ and my response to this painful time had to change. It does not take away from the fact that pain will cause you to respond at times in a negative way but do you go back to correct it? Do you think before you speak? I have to give credit where credit is due…my response changed due to practicing the power of the PAUSE. My mentor and good friend Dr. Katrina Spigner not only discussed this action but she practices it in her own life. I have observed her over the years PAUSING before she responds and the result in seeing it changed my life forever. Initiating this small but powerful change has literally been my saving grace!
  • …..revealed that what is happening IN me is building endurance in order to carry the multiple assignments for my life. It feels like I am going through boot camp and in order to physically get through this obstacle course, I must build up my spiritual muscle in areas of my life that need to grow. Building these areas will create the perseverance needed in order to complete this course. The building of my: Character, Focus, Integrity and Love has allowed me to trust the greater plan for my life…and that trajectory is going UP…Faith must be your guide, not your eyes…

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~ I live for my Passion

Loving words…and formulating them to telling a story, poetically, is my Passion!!!

When I think back, the inception of this love was circa 1995 while performing in my High School Pageant. This extended into my college years, which lived only in a notebook until I released it publicly at an open mic in Orangeburg, SC right before graduation in 2001. That night I shared prayers on paper that kept me through some of the most challenging years of my life—college. I experience great pain and life altering events that have shaped me forever. This passion is my LIFE, literally. My spirit connects to everyday life through words…I see and hear poetry in everything unintentionally and naturally. I credit this ability to my creator, my friend and the love of my life, Jesus the Christ. I have witnessed through the words that He construct into poetry ministering into the lives of people in ways I could never predict. This gift does come without a ‘cost’ or ‘price’ to pay. But when you are called, you understand that pain associated to your God-given Gift is one of the greatest teachers…

The Reality Of My Pain:

  • …..as a writer, pain will either PUSH you or PARALYZE you. I have experienced both but it’s not something I consider to be a bad thing. Sure, at times you need to produce but can’t seem to hear God through the pain, but His timing is impeccable and His word never returns to you void. If He has given you the gift, He will not be mocked but will deliver when its time. For us, it’s not convenient. For Him, it’s divine.
  • …..as a writer, God will use pain to correct. Something that hurts could be signifying that something is not aligned. That alignment could be a result of disobedience. This could merit a THOUSAND examples but I trust God enough to know that when YOU read it, He will direct you to what is mis-aligned that is causing you pain and the inability to produce.
  • …..as a writer, most people would agree that poets seem to talk about painful situations A LOT! From open-mics to slams to showcases, you seem to get more of a connection with audiences when you discuss pain. I disagree. While it may initially influence a response, I think its what comes out of pain that is key. Pain a lot of times is the byproduct to a blessing and if you listen long enough to a poem that starts a poem discussing pain, most of the time, the poet will not leave it there but illustrate the root or result of that pain that led to something greater…something better….something more profound.

 

At times, these 3 could feel disconnected due to the pain of the shift that’s taking place. But I’m here to encourage you, don’t disrupt the work of God due to your personal discomfort. Growth will stretch you because preparation is vital for the next phase of your life. Look at your Personal, Profession and Passion and allow GOD to do the necessary changes. I pray as you read only a summary level snippet of how I allowed God to move in these areas, it will inspire you to let Him move on your behalf.

xoxo Chiccy Baritone

lets connect!~~

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#LoveSeries #Feb1st-14th #2017

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For the first 14 days of February, I received instructions from God to talk about Love…not just the mushy, everything is perfect, no issues, unrealistic kind of love because we all know love will be tested. No, this is about  Love and all of its varies components. The bible is filled with scripture that is so applicable to Love and love situations and I was excited to be able to use 13 scriptures that served as inspiration for these short, about 1 minute poems (on Youtube). I didn’t want the month to be over without sharing with my Blog followers this series so below I have shared these poems. On day 14, I ended the series with a video poem called,”Highway of Love”…..to catch the videos for each poem, please visit my youtube link: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCRrn3TMAo8iz5AMjaKnQ9CQ

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Proverbs 13:12 “Hope deferred makes the heart sick.”

I know what it means to wait…I mean, I had to wait 14 years to get a drivers permit, I had to wait 4 years for a high school diploma and college degree…and I can remember being a young girl playing with Barbie’s and fantasizing about having my very own Ken. Being told time and time again to concentrate on living your life, getting an education and good job then focus on being a wife. So I did those things and I waited. Even in a relationship that I thought would end in marriage, I waited….even when I knew it was not going to end that way, I still waited. A delay is not denial and a anxious heart does not mean it’s hopeless. Sick at times, tired at times, but still beating…

FB: Chiccy Baritone ~ Poet #LoveSeriesDay1 #Poetry

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Proverbs 24:26 “An honest answer is like a kiss on the lips.” 

I know he didn’t want to admit the pain of the past. The aroma of residue could not be eliminated through lies. Dishonesty has a way of prolonging destiny. God loves to use broken vessels. And just because it’s Jesus specialty to put broken lives back together, it doesn’t make it easy. Fear gripped him like a bully on the playground and pride threw the sucker punches to the throat. But it didn’t silence his voice. He said, he didn’t want to lose me so he persevered through the pain of pride. His honesty was like poetry to me.

FB: Chiccy Baritone ~ Poet #LoveSeriesDay2 #Poetry

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Proverbs 24:32 “I applied my heart to what I observed and learned a lesson from what I saw.”  

I watched my man praise God. It revealed a spiritual conversation that he didn’t share with me. He went before the throne boldly. At first, I could not help but stare because it was like the God in Him begin to minister to the sin in me that I tried to conceal. Unspoken conviction raised a praise like vomit and my mouth begin to overflow with repentance. His admiration and reverence for the King affected me. I felt my love deepen witnessing his communion with the Most High God as a powerful lead in my life and our family. The power of praise made words no longer necessary.

FB: Chiccy Baritone ~ Poet #LoveSeriesDay3 #Poetry

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Song of Songs 7:1 “How beautiful your sandaled feet, O prince’s daughter! Your graceful legs are like jewels, the work of an artist’s hands.

Women with quick, long strides are trying to get to their destination. Movement builds over time and in no time she arrived looking like a bag lady. She was carrying her dignity because she had to take a job that wasn’t paying enough. She was carrying her responsibilities because she had mouths to feed. She was carrying her insecurities worried about how she looked when the load felt unbearable. She was carrying love knowing that her effort was helping out her King who God ordained as her helpmate because his hours at work were reduced indefinitely. She carried weight like a stallion beautifully.

FB: Chiccy Baritone ~ Poet #LoveSeriesDay4 #Poetry

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Song of Songs 1:12 “ While the King was at his table, my perfume spread its fragrance.” 

I didn’t even part my lips to speak because the conversation going on in my head was louder than the conversations taking place in the room. Like a California stop, I slowed down long enough to find my seat, my feet suddenly began to pick up speed because the 7 inch heels were unapologetic. I was wearing a new perfume scent. It took me a long time to invest in myself so I decided to wear it tonight. He rose from his seat as if he was hypnotized headed straight towards me. His look spoke a foreign language. I didn’t understand so I adjusted my hair and rubbed my lips together making sure my lipstick was smooth and even. He arrived. Paused. Smiled. And said, ”Excuse me Miss, what’s that you’re wearing?” I replied, ”Confidence.”

FB: Chiccy Baritone ~ Poet #LoveSeriesDay5 #Poetry

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Song of Songs 8:6 “ Place me like a seal over your heart, like a seal on your arm; for love is as strong as death, its jealousy unyielding as the grave. It burns like blazing fire, like a mighty flame.

Our friendship is many calendar years old. We stop counting after love was realized but not initiated. Separate life paths were made up of unplanned meeting spots where our check-ins never concluded with us checking out. Open ended until we met again. It wasn’t life but death of a matriarch and patriarch in our individual families that created a closeness of hearts trying to mend individually and together. Laughter with you is not the same with anyone else….you have a way of bringing out that wild, belly flopping, mouth wide open not trying to be cute kind of laugh.

Everytime.

And it picks back up every time we meet.

This internal flame never went out but it was getting weak.

And this time, our meeting concluded with you deciding to never meet unplanned again. So you took my hand and initiated love with a check out day, time and place. The risk was becoming too great to keep meeting with no plan or experiencing a ‘no show’ due to another man.

FB: Chiccy Baritone ~ Poet #LoveSeriesDay6 #Poetry

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Proverbs 10:12 “ Hatred stirs up strife, but love covers all offenses.”

I stopped paying attention. My world reduced to an island with one occupant.

Me.

You noticed.

And after numerous attempts and arguments to gain my attention,

your silence became loud and your presence empty…your smile no longer filled the room because you made room for someone who slowed down long enough to notice your smile. She knew your arrival to the office.

Her Good Morning greeting was well-timed and her conversation effortless.

The power of words through communication moved his mind and then his hands.

You and her. Alone.

Then Infidelity. Then a Baby.

It spiritually killed me.

But what it taught me, progressed in me, revealed in me, convicted in me, corrected in me and showed me was my love was stronger, long-suffering, wiser, deeper and tested beyond the vows of my wedding day. Love Prevails

FB: Chiccy Baritone ~ Poet #LoveSeriesDay7 #Poetry

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1 Corinthians 15: 33

Do not be misled: “Bad company corrupts good character.”

He praised the reprobate mindset and fed my flesh whatever it yearned for making it harder to resist. Being connected to him was encouraging the battle to partake in sin. Countless mornings started with praise but by nightfall my mind was in a daze from all the hell he raised, what’s happening? Struggling between what’s wrong and what’s right but when I thought about life before him, I had discipline, purpose and contentment. I’ve turned into someone else because of someone else I gave my time, my mind and my soul to. His corruption created detours and distractions in the plan and purpose for my life. My money, I recovered over time but my character paid the price.

FB: Chiccy Baritone ~ Poet #LoveSeriesDay8 #Poetry

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Proverbs 25:28 “ Like a city whose walls are broken through is a person who lacks self-control.”

She was a walking corpse. Dead to Life because her reckless decisions made her numb to the pain of losing control. Control over her mind and body rejected by love. She bled her insecurities openly to strangers online and at a drop of any dime from any man who pursued her. She ignored the ill will intentions of boundaries that were trespassed by well design counterfeits. Pain convinced her that standing for nothing was easier because it didn’t require a fight. Emotions are not reality. God was not present in her life. She was sinking like a ship with no sail and thought she could do it all without HIM. #EpicFail

FB: Chiccy Baritone ~ Poet #LoveSeriesDay9 #Poetry

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Proverbs 26:11 “As a dog returns to its vomit, so fools repeat their folly.

He had no game…just good conversation and He paid attention.. She was a friend of a friend that caught his eye so after she accepted his Facebook request, he went on a scavenger hunt. Pictures, post, albums, repeat….his research painted a ‘picture’ of her. Cyber stalking check –ins, he decided to pull up and make his appearance seem ‘random’. He knew enough to seduce her mind long without ever touching her. But it wasn’t long before she let him touch her. Then he beat her. The confusion of a love-beat combo perpetuated until it was no longer hidden as she lived in pain and entertained death like a live in guest.

FB: Chiccy Baritone ~ Poet #LoveSeriesDay10 #Poetry

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Song of Songs 2:7

Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you
by the gazelles and by the does of the field:
Do not arouse or awaken love
until it so desires

I often played too close to the line of “wait” and “regret.” Relying on physical strength to pull me back trying to stay ahead of my mind and not letting my mind lead my body, almost always led to regret. Igniting the fire of temptation with reckless wordplay I created the perfect ingredients for moments of sinful pleasure to become quick memories. This behavior stayed on repeat until my actions caused a reaction and life paused. Everything I desired for my myself became spiritually dormant due to preventable agony and no one to blame but me. I opened doors that were closed, windows that were shut and jumped gates because my desire was greater than my discipline. Time and time again God intervened and then he saved me locking that desire up for the one he has created for me.

FB: Chiccy Baritone ~ Poet #LoveSeriesDay11 #Poetry

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Psalm 46: 5

God is within her, she will not fall;
God will help her at break of day.

I know it wasn’t right but I gave him my life before he made me his wife. I blame love and those butterflies things that seem to consume me every time I would hear his voice…or look into his eyes longer than 5 seconds, I promise you, I think he put a spell on me…or maybe slipped something in my coffee…I allowed him full access with no clearance so it became easy for him to hurt me. I can’t even begin to count the nights where I woke up to tear soaked pillows and puffy eyes, but I woke up. God kept getting me up each day to prove that He had more power than the woes of a broken heart and more purpose than a relationship that I praised more than Him.

FB: Chiccy Baritone ~ Poet #LoveSeriesDay12 #Poetry

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James 1:19

My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.

I hate when we argue but lately it’s becoming personal. I thought we vowed to protect each other’s wounds but we behave like a covenant doesn’t exist. I would listen long enough to respond because to hear the truth about me hurt. It ignited every fear, disappointment and insecurity that I tried to hide and deny. My life was a lie I forced you to believe until you smelled the residue of death on my breathe from dead fruit you tried to reseed over and over again..you never understood why every attempt to speak life got lost in translation….I learned the art to drown sound with fast talking because it didn’t require processing…just a reckless reaction that choked and killed my marriage.

FB: Chiccy Baritone ~ Poet #LoveSeriesDay13 #Poetry

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For Day 14, see video by clicking Youtube Link above

 

 

FEAR… The Uninvited “Guest”

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<Ding Dong!> It’s the doorbell…

“Who in the world could that be?” I said to myself because hey you don’t remember expecting guest and everyone knows that you don’t like “un-invited” guest. Not wanting to make any noise, you tip-toe to the window and peek outside your blinds seeing if you could catch a glimpse of who is at your door. Hmmm….you don’t see anyone there but to be sure you open the door anyway, slowly, and as soon as you do, your “un-invited” guest slips right in….

Who? You ask…

FEAR…..

Yes, just like an “un-invited” guest, we don’t ever plan to invite FEAR into our lives. It sort of sneaks in just as you open the doors of what I like to call your human
“Gates” which are your Eyes, Ears and Mouth to anything that can deter you from God’s plan and purpose for your life! Your EYES are the gateway to your soul stamping visuals in your brain that you playback; Your EARS record everything that it hears—sounds and voices; Your MOUTH is controlled by the thoughts in your head and the feelings in your heart. Three powerful gates that FEAR loves to travel through disregarding any “formal” invite from you, but then, sometimes we will keep the door open and let FEAR in but that’s not what I want to talk about. I want to talk about when you try your best to keep FEAR out and away from ever entering into your gates. These openings should be guarded at all times filtering out uncensored, uninvited aspects of life that can cause FEAR to form and develop. When FEAR is realized, it will camouflage a blessing (Eyes), hear only negative language (Ears) and speak doubt and destruction (Mouth). FEAR no longer is a guest, at this point, but begins to unpack bags and take up residence in your life! This is NOT good! So let’s talk about it….

Have you ever experienced FEAR? (uh um, clearing my throat)***Newsflash***..We ALL have and it’s perfectly normal, so relax. However, I must say, FEAR should be confronted and not ignored, confessed and not concealed. Its not the best feeling in the world but as a healthy practice, make sure you don’t let the things that cause FEAR to be the reason you don’t see the blessing in the mist of the storms of life; or penetrate in your heart when someone speaks negatively to you and about you; and worse, begin to expose itself in your conversation speaking “death”. (Proverbs 18:21) Once you make FEAR the source of your decisions, you will always experience less than the abundant life that God desires because you will be too scared to trust God based on a distressing emotion aroused by impending danger, evil, pain, etc., whether the threat is real or imagined (www.dictionary.com). This is serious and like stress, when prolonged, has dangerous effects to our spiritual, physical and emotional state of being. So are you ready to face your FEARS even though you didn’t see it “sneak” in? And it doesn’t matter how big or small your FEAR may be, it all counts and it all has a root. Something or someone influenced this FEAR that you have and now every time you or someone else bring up that FEAR, you respond with distress trying to cover it up with many failed attempts. Isn’t that exhausting? I mean, how much more “covering up” can you do? Or how many times are you going to put on your “mask” before your mask begin to crack showing the real face of your troubles? I believe that the bible says that God did not give us the spirit of FEAR but of power, love and a sound mind (2 Timothy 1:7) because to fight FEAR you must have the love of Christ in your heart for those times when FEAR tries to “show up unannounced”. When we ignite the power of God which is in us through prayer, studying and fasting, we will ALWAYS and I mean ALWAYS defeat FEAR. And I am sure you have probably heard people say things like, “It’s all in your mind.” Well, that is true because our minds are very powerful and the storehouses of where we recall past and present hurt and pain. So how are you keeping your mind “sound?”. Has it been difficult? At times it has been, but what you playback over and over is the key to keeping the mind sound! So whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. (Philippians 4:8).

Exercise is not only good for the body but it’s also crucial for your mind. Make it a priority to always look beyond any and everything that is causing FEAR—afraid of what will happen if you lose your job in this economy, not having enough money to pay your bills, afraid for your future and the future of your family? Don’t be and yes, I said that pretty effortlessly because God knows, HE cares and HE loves US…even when we are scared to death of the many entities of life. And guess what? He was there when you open the door and FEAR slipped in. HE was waiting on you to call HIM so that HE can address any “unwanted” guest. Hello Fear…and Goodbye.
 

I Hear Your Words, But I Only Listen To Your Actions

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I saw this quote circulating on social media and I had to pull it to discuss.
Unless you have been living under a ‘rock’, it is no surprise all of the turmoil our country, the United States of America, has been experiencing on a more frequent basis. I say a more frequent basis because all of the injustice of murders and racism in this country has been going on for centuries but with the advancement of technology, like camera phones and videos, it is capturing things as they happen and putting it right in your face..whether that is the news, your social media timelines or for some, first hand experiences with your own family…
….at times, I feel like I’m playing in a horror film anxiously hoping I’m not next to play in the scene…
….my heart has been hurting but my spirit has been pressing towards the only comfort that I can count on moment by moment, day by day and that’s through my relationship with Jesus Christ and the infallible word of God, the bible.
These times have challenged every Christian in America and the unfolding of this reality is not a surprise to God. In the word, He says….
2 Timothy 3:1 (NIV)
3 But mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days. 2 People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, 3 without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, 4 treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God— 5 having a form of godliness but denying its power. Have nothing to do with such people.

To me, the underlining issue that has linked the injustice in this country comes down to one thing: Racism.

Every act of racism in this country is taught.

No one is BORN racist.
And just like something you learn that has a negative consequence if practiced, racism can only be eliminated once a person’s heart is changed.
So, I’ve ‘listened’ to people who claim to not have a problem with race but their ACTIONS have quickly discredited that notion. Until you respond differently to something you have perceived in your mind and heart, ignorance will rule your actions.
Recently, I heard a local pastor, Pastor Hasker Hudgens, on the news with News Correspondent, Nigel Robertson and he was asked a question, “Do you think Prayers are enough?” and I like his response which were all ACTION items that needed to take place.
He said, and I quote, “ I want to say prayers are working but its four things I think we have to do: We have to humble ourselves, We have to Pray, We have to seek God’s Face, then we have to turn from our wicked ways, then he forgive us of our sins and then he will heal our land.”
Pastor quoted right from this scripture:
2 Chronicles 7:14(NIV)
14 if my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and I will forgive their sin and will heal their land.
So, this is a call to ACTION…me included….
Social Media platforms are okay when expressing your concerns or voicing your opinion but the problem is, that’s ALL some people are doing…

Your VOICE and your ACTIONS are needed…

Xoxo Chiccy Baritone

Connect with me:

http://www.chiccybaritone.com

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What We See Depends On What We Look For

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Extinct-Engineering-Tools-T-Square

You always knew who the ‘new’ Engineering majors were on campus because they all were carrying these T-squares. One of the classes that every Engineering major had to take was called,”Mechanical Drawing”. This was BEFORE AutoCAD, which is the program used to do all of your drawings electronically. We learned, by hand, how to draw out our schematics which many new engineers have no clue about because its not a method that is used in the industry, thanks to advanced technology to do it quicker through this software program.

I was one of those students. And this class, I feel, was a way of challenging my ability to see things in multiple dimensions (2D, 3D) and being able to draw it to scale with your T-square. If a 1 dimension box is drawn, could you draw that same box in 2 or 3 dimensions? So needless to say, many students who were discouraged by understanding this technique either dropped out of the class or the program..

This ability to see beyond what is in front of me is very symbolic of how I handle issues in my life whether personally, professionally on my job or in my business Chiccy Baritone. I have also tried to incorporate the ‘pause’ method as well which simply is to think about other ways to view something verses only seeing it the way “I” see it. If I am looking for a solution, then I must look at all of the pieces, good and bad, to understand how they all are working for my good (Romans 8:28). There are rich lessons of life through triumph AND pain.

So what do you SEE and what are you LOOKING for?

It comes down to ‘natural’ and ‘spiritual’…One is with the physical eye and the other is with the inner spirit (or spiritual eye). Both are feeding what you believe and feel. FAITH is that change agent that motivates the outcome that you desire. It’s with the power of your FAITH that you will see God in it all. He has a way of carrying you through this journey of life by orchestrating every good and bad piece…and making something BEAUTIFUL!

So can you SEE that its not just a box? It has sides on the left and right and a back side as well…its not small but it has DEPTH to it and can HOLD many things…to some, if you are only looking in the FRONT, you will never know that it has other DIMENSIONS! ***Whew….God, I thank you!!!***

Don’t just look…but LOOK….there’s more….

Xoxo Chiccy Baritone

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http://www.chiccybaritone.com

Facebook: Chiccy Baritone ~ Poet

Twitter: @chiccybaritone.com

 

 

“It Takes Someone Strong To Make Someone Strong”

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“It Takes Someone Strong To Make Someone Strong.”
That Is my Momma, Viola Corrine Evans….

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Yes, the holidays are hard and the anniversary of her earthly death and funeral will always be a reflective time for me. The power of WHO my mom was rocks me to the core when I think about what she endured not only with her health but also her personal life.
The insight of STRENGTH became real after my mom died. Sure, I saw her display strength throughout my life that will always be in my memory like the time I got into a really bad car accident on my way to minister poetry at a candlelight vigil in Columbia, SC at Bibleway Church of Atlas Road, coming from Greenville, SC. It was a rainy morning and as I continued to speed in the rain, I knew that I needed to slow down because like my mom would always say, once you are late; speeding is not going to change that!
Well…I almost died that day…
I hydroplane, and thankful to God, ended up on the side of the road about 100 feet from a bridge! I can remember blacking out and becoming conscious again when a young man’s hands cupped around my face said to me, “Open your eyes young lady..you are alive and you are going to be okay!” The only thing I can remember about that man is that he had a “Gap between his teeth like me” ***smile***
He grabbed my phone and called my mom…by the time they arrived there was a small group of people who had gathered around me in support of making sure I was okay. The next moment was a moment I will never forget…I saw the crowd ‘part like the red sea’ and it was my MOMMA. She didn’t say a word but she made her way to me, grabbed me into her arms and held me. We just cried because I think in that moment we realized how close I was to death. I will never forget the look in her eyes. It was such a powerful, intense look of strength and LOVE.
One more example I have to share was the day of my housewarming. It was the same day my mom had dialysis. On those days, I can count on her being completely wiped out afterwards for about 4 hours so I normally would not bother her. You can only imagine how shocked I was when she told me,”I’m coming to your housewarming.” My mom went through her treatment and her, my father and niece drove 1 hour and 45mins to see my brand new house in Greer, SC. When my mom walked through the door, she was quiet as she looked around on the first level of my house as if she was one of the inspectors making sure everything was OKAY because her baby girl was going to be living there. I would catch her smiling and looking back at me as I walked behind her. She was so proud of me and my heart was full…so full because she taught me STRENGTH in that moment. You see, I was in amazement of her strength because nothing, not even being sick, was going to stop her. She never complained around me and still made people laugh because that was who she was. A pleasure to be around….and a soldier who fought for her life, her family and her marriage.

I can take a lifetime going through countless examples of my mom displaying that kind of strength throughout my life but I gave those two examples just to get to this point of the insight of her strength AFTER she died…
Many issues in my mom’s life concerning her marriage really begin to come out after she died.
And these are not issues that span over a few years but well over 20 years that I had absolutely NO CLUE about…you know why? Here is my conclusion and the truth of the matter…
My mom ‘shielded’ us (her kids—Quanita, Me and DeWayne) from ‘blows’ to her personal life and marriage all because she wanted us to not worry about her and to create a positive childhood for us.
As a child, I can remember certain things but she ALWAYS went out of her way to try and protect us…
In her absence, I feel her presence and I honor her STRENGTH…
My mom was no pushover….no, let’s be REAL clear about that…but she loved her family and made sure we had everything we needed not necessarily everything we wanted.
She taught me what it means to be a lady at all times…even when you are upset and disappointed.
She carried herself in a classy way never forgetting her country roots from Hopkins, SC where her brothers and sisters still reside.
I would pick on her all the time for not wanting to explore the world but the truth is, she did…through others, including myself, because every time I traveled, she wanted to hear about the details of my trip giving me her undivided attention. She loved hearing how much traveling made me happy….
…..the night before she died, I was the last person she talked to and it was such an encouraging and inspiring conversation as my mom learned about a recent ‘break-up’ I had with my boyfriend at the time. She was speaking LIFE into me as she said, “stay strong—keep on going baby because you are doing so well with your life. You are going to need a man that can be supportive and love you.” That was only some of a very lengthy conversation. **smile**
She made me STRONG because she was….
I had 33 years with her and I thank God for my Commander in Chief—a real Soldier at Heart—Loved God and Loved her Family….and for that, I’m grateful because I have turned out to be a woman of STRENGTH and courage…..Thank you Momma
Xoxo Chiccy Baritone

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Start Now

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Start NOW….

I came across this image on Facebook and it said:

“Start now. Start where you are. Start with fear. Start with pain. Start with doubt. Start with hands shaking. Start with voice trembling but start. Start and don’t stop. Start where you are, with what you have. Just……start.”

I have been very passionate about driving this message home. Maybe not verbatim but the point still is the same, “Just start.” I have a, ”Breakfast For Champions Women Empowering Women” Sessions that I do between February and April of every year. I begin each session giving my testimony about how God orchestrated the vision. When God spoke to my spirit to start these sessions to empower women from all walks of life and the format of these sessions, my battle was, ”But God, where should I have this? I need resources so where is that going to come from? When should I do it? Who should I target? And the questioning went on and on. Once I finished questioning everything, God said, ”Start where you are.”
Wait….What???
And you know what? I did. I did what I could and God did the REST! I opened up my home, sent out a guest list, brought in a speaker, ordered some appetizers and after that session, I opened it up to the public, created a budget, and these sessions have been paying for themselves with the participation of women from all over the community! God is not concern with our excuses and quite frankly, we miss the opportunities for our vision to come to pass because we make it about ‘US’ and not who it’s for—People!
Yep….you are struggling with your vision because you have allowed every excuse to hinder what God has placed inside of you to do. Habakkuk 2:1-2KJV says, ”I will stand upon my watch, and set me upon the tower, and will watch to see what he will say unto me, and what I shall answer when I am reproved. And the LORD answered me, and said, write the vision, and make it plain upon tables, that he may run that readeth it.”
I love the way Clarke breaks down key points in the scripture. Check it out (credit: http://biblehub.com/commentaries/clarke/habakkuk/2.htm)
(Habakkuk 2:1) I will stand upon my watch – The prophets are always represented as watchmen, watching constantly for the comfort, safety, and welfare of the people; and watching also to receive information from the Lord: for the prophetic influence was not always with them, but was granted only at particular times, according to the will of God. When, in doubtful cases, they wished to know what God was about to do with the country, they retired from society and gave themselves to meditation and prayer, waiting thus upon God to hear what he would say In them.
(Habakkuk 2:1) What he will say unto me – in my understanding and heart.
(Habakkuk 2:1) And what I shall answer when I am reproved – What I shall say to God in behalf of the people; and what the Lord shall command me to say to the people. Some translate, “And what he will answer for my conviction.” Or, “what shall be answered to my pleading.”
(Habakkuk 2:2) Write the vision – Carefully take down all that I shall say.

(Habakkuk 2:2) Make it plain upon tables – Write it in a full plain, legible hand.
Being obedient to your vision requires you to listen for instructions and move on what God has said to you by FAITH. Without FAITH, it is impossible to please God so with all that He has created you to be and do, it cannot be done without FAITH. Our ‘laundry list’ of excuses are just that, a list that ‘we’ have compiled together. I often think about the outcome of what would have been if I focused more on ‘sacrifice vs. obedience’ and not God’s plan. He made it real clear….”Just Start”

And that is exactly what I did and have not turned back!
Your turn….it’s time for you to “Just start”
On WHAT? You say…
That vision that God has placed in your heart that you keep talking about…

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