“It Takes Someone Strong To Make Someone Strong.”
That Is my Momma, Viola Corrine Evans….
Yes, the holidays are hard and the anniversary of her earthly death and funeral will always be a reflective time for me. The power of WHO my mom was rocks me to the core when I think about what she endured not only with her health but also her personal life.
The insight of STRENGTH became real after my mom died. Sure, I saw her display strength throughout my life that will always be in my memory like the time I got into a really bad car accident on my way to minister poetry at a candlelight vigil in Columbia, SC at Bibleway Church of Atlas Road, coming from Greenville, SC. It was a rainy morning and as I continued to speed in the rain, I knew that I needed to slow down because like my mom would always say, once you are late; speeding is not going to change that!
Well…I almost died that day…
I hydroplane, and thankful to God, ended up on the side of the road about 100 feet from a bridge! I can remember blacking out and becoming conscious again when a young man’s hands cupped around my face said to me, “Open your eyes young lady..you are alive and you are going to be okay!” The only thing I can remember about that man is that he had a “Gap between his teeth like me” ***smile***
He grabbed my phone and called my mom…by the time they arrived there was a small group of people who had gathered around me in support of making sure I was okay. The next moment was a moment I will never forget…I saw the crowd ‘part like the red sea’ and it was my MOMMA. She didn’t say a word but she made her way to me, grabbed me into her arms and held me. We just cried because I think in that moment we realized how close I was to death. I will never forget the look in her eyes. It was such a powerful, intense look of strength and LOVE.
One more example I have to share was the day of my housewarming. It was the same day my mom had dialysis. On those days, I can count on her being completely wiped out afterwards for about 4 hours so I normally would not bother her. You can only imagine how shocked I was when she told me,”I’m coming to your housewarming.” My mom went through her treatment and her, my father and niece drove 1 hour and 45mins to see my brand new house in Greer, SC. When my mom walked through the door, she was quiet as she looked around on the first level of my house as if she was one of the inspectors making sure everything was OKAY because her baby girl was going to be living there. I would catch her smiling and looking back at me as I walked behind her. She was so proud of me and my heart was full…so full because she taught me STRENGTH in that moment. You see, I was in amazement of her strength because nothing, not even being sick, was going to stop her. She never complained around me and still made people laugh because that was who she was. A pleasure to be around….and a soldier who fought for her life, her family and her marriage.
I can take a lifetime going through countless examples of my mom displaying that kind of strength throughout my life but I gave those two examples just to get to this point of the insight of her strength AFTER she died…
Many issues in my mom’s life concerning her marriage really begin to come out after she died.
And these are not issues that span over a few years but well over 20 years that I had absolutely NO CLUE about…you know why? Here is my conclusion and the truth of the matter…
My mom ‘shielded’ us (her kids—Quanita, Me and DeWayne) from ‘blows’ to her personal life and marriage all because she wanted us to not worry about her and to create a positive childhood for us.
As a child, I can remember certain things but she ALWAYS went out of her way to try and protect us…
In her absence, I feel her presence and I honor her STRENGTH…
My mom was no pushover….no, let’s be REAL clear about that…but she loved her family and made sure we had everything we needed not necessarily everything we wanted.
She taught me what it means to be a lady at all times…even when you are upset and disappointed.
She carried herself in a classy way never forgetting her country roots from Hopkins, SC where her brothers and sisters still reside.
I would pick on her all the time for not wanting to explore the world but the truth is, she did…through others, including myself, because every time I traveled, she wanted to hear about the details of my trip giving me her undivided attention. She loved hearing how much traveling made me happy….
…..the night before she died, I was the last person she talked to and it was such an encouraging and inspiring conversation as my mom learned about a recent ‘break-up’ I had with my boyfriend at the time. She was speaking LIFE into me as she said, “stay strong—keep on going baby because you are doing so well with your life. You are going to need a man that can be supportive and love you.” That was only some of a very lengthy conversation. **smile**
She made me STRONG because she was….
I had 33 years with her and I thank God for my Commander in Chief—a real Soldier at Heart—Loved God and Loved her Family….and for that, I’m grateful because I have turned out to be a woman of STRENGTH and courage…..Thank you Momma
Xoxo Chiccy Baritone
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The Many Faces of a Mother
In honor of Mother’s Day on Sunday, May 11, 2014, I felt obligated to write a special blog post to every man and woman for this special holiday. Honoring the woman who gave birth to you or to the woman who didn’t birth you biologically but she raised you and she is the only woman who YOU call mom. How about the step mom who stood in the gap and said, “Yes,” when it was time to take care of you because of a “life” circumstance? (am I getting warm?lol) Or, how about a woman who has no blood relation to you but she “feels” like mom because you never met your mom? Please allow me to take a moment to speak to your heart as I speak to mine.
You see, my mom died on Tuesday, April 26, 2011 and I remember it like it was yesterday. As painful as that memory was, I recorded that day in my journal so that I will never forget it because even through my pain at the time it was written, I knew that I would want to go back and recall the details of my emotions and my mindset at the age of 33. Another interesting fact; I was the last one to talk to her the night before she passed through a phone conversation where my mom was being my mom…consoling me through words of comfort because of a bad breakup and reassuring me of who I am, boldly proclaiming that the right one will come along. The conversation was long and ended like all conversations end with my mom,”I Love You”…I miss those talks so much…
But let me tell you how amazing God is when it comes to us, his children. Prior to my mom passing, I have been blessed with some wonderful friendships ranging in age from women who are around my age to women who are around the age of my mom or older. Some, not all, have taken on the role unconsciously as my “mother” in so many ways. They have become the many faces to a mother and I believe that God knows who to send and when to send them to your life. They help ease the pain of that void and they are assigned and appointed to “Mother” YOU!
These women have made a “love decision” to be there for you and hopefully if it is a situation where your mom is no longer living, they help to keep her memories alive!
Roles in life will become interchangeable as people live and die, but one thing is for sure, you are not ALONE! [John 14:18(NIV) “I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you.”]
That’s right, you are not alone…you have GOD and you have that woman who has the title of “Mom”. Happy Mother’s Day! ~Much Love…Chiccy Baritone